Guy to have kids for 3 months

We told you how Madonna and Guy Ritchie are getting on better than ever since their divorce.
Madge has been getting support from the film director following her failed attempt to adopt a second child. Guy even made a public statement claiming the singer is a "fantastic mum."
Now, their new friendship has encouraged them to call a truce regarding their children. It was only a few weeks ago she won a court order to name the US as the children's permanent home.
Madge has agreed that he can look after the kids - Rocco, eight, and adopted David Banda, four, over the summer holidays while she's on tour.
A source told The Sun: "Guy absolutely dotes on his children and can't wait to have them for a whole three months.
"He is surprised and pleased that Madonna is being so generous - as she has at times been impossible.
"Madonna will be travelling a lot and agreed it makes sense for them to stay with Guy rather than constantly be uprooted."
Meanwhile, the father of the Malawian child Madonna wants to adopt is now seeking full custody.
Mercy James father James Kambewa, who has never met his daughter, says Madonna is a woman of poor morals.
He has written to the Human Rights Consultative Committee objecting to the adoption.
He said: "She is my daughter. Madonna has millions but that doesn't make her a good mum. Parental love is worth more than money.
"She doesn't portray good morals. How can a woman of 50 dance almost naked on stage? In Malawi, women respect themselves."
Madonna lost the right to adopt the child earlier this month. Her appeal will be held on Monday.

Couple's Royal lawn romp

A couple have reportedly been arrested - for having sex on the Queen's front lawn at Windsor Castle.
Crowds of tourists watched as they made love on a private grass bank at Windsor Castle, where Her Majesty was in residence, according to The Sun.
The couple, said to be in their early 30s, kept at it for 20 minutes before armed Royal Protection Squad officers stepped in to take down their particulars.
Some onlookers cheered them on, while others called the police. Several tourists apparently filmed the whole incident.
The couple, described by police as respectable people with respectable jobs, were said to be "mortified" by their actions.
Witness Sue Cook, 24, said: "I expect when the woman woke up the next morning she died of shame. She's a porn star now."
Mark Robinson, 44, added: "The couple did not care who was looking and just kept going as if they were in their own bedroom. They even ignored the Please Keep Off The Grass signs."
A Windsor Castle source said: "The Queen was in residence at the time, but her private apartments are at the other end so she would have been blissfully unaware of it."
Police said the pair were put in cells overnight to sober up before being cautioned for outraging public decency.

Sean files for divorce

Another day and another celebrity couple call it a day.
This time it's Oscar-winning actor Sean Penn who has filed for divorce from his wife Robin Wright Penn.
It's not the first time the couple have called time on their marriage. Back in 2007 Sean sought a legal separation from the actress but the couple later decided to give their marriage a second chance.
The pair tied the knot in 1996 and have two children Hopper Jack, 15, and 17-year-old Dylan Frances.
Sean and Robin's last public outing was in February when they attended the Oscars.
Sean picked up the Best Actor award on the night for his role in Milk.
However, when collecting his award he failed to thank his wife - which can't have helped.
Later when asked why he omitted his partner from his list of thank yous he said: "I wanted to keep things focused on the professional team around this movie.
"Because with Robin comes my mother and my son and my daughter, and half of them will punish me if I mention them."
Perhaps, a mention would have helped. Anyway, it will be interesting to see if the pair actually sign on the dotted line this time.

Girl, 2, brighter than Vorderman

A two-year-old girl has become the youngest member of Mensa.
Tests put the IQ of Elise Tan-Roberts at 156 - two points above Carol Vorderman, reports The Sun.
Elise started speaking at five months, walking at eight and running at ten.
By 14 months she could count to ten and can now recite the names of the world's capital cities.
Parents Louise and Edward, from Edmonton, North London, took her to specialist education psychologist Professor Joan Freeman.
She said she was "gifted" with a "superb memory" - and put her forward to Mensa.
Mr Tan-Roberts, 34, said: "We hope she can keep learning at an advanced pace. But she is still my baby. I just want her to be happy and enjoy herself."

Moo-sical treat

The hills are alive with the sound of music after an Alpine farmer compiled a CD of his farm animals' favourite tunes.
Livestock expert Franz Koeberl, 41, has been serenading the animals on the family farm in Birkfeld, Austria, with his accordion for more than a decade.
Franz and his family, who all play instruments, stage live concerts for the animals to help with milk yield or to keep them calm.
"Whenever they see me coming over the hill with my accordion, they come running and gather around to listen to the tunes. They prefer Strauss - although I and my family would rather hear Mozart," he explained.
"We all play musical instruments and we often play for the animals, and we found that Norma, Norli, Nanni and the rest of the 20 cows have a clear preference for classical music.
"In particular they seem to like the waltz. They are more likely to be sitting down taking the weight off their feet and obviously enjoying the music whenever a waltz is playing - and that also means they are producing more milk," he added.

'Mr Asbo' swan attacks rowers

A swan has been nicknamed 'Mr Asbo' after it started attacking rowers on the River Cam.
The bird has been targeting single scullers as well as teams of eight on the Cambridgeshire river, reports the Daily Telegraph.
The Cambridgeshire Rowing Association and Cam Conservators have even issued a joint email warning about the "rogue" swan that has "developed a bad temper".
Sculler Alan Marron, said: "The swan has become very dangerous. It attacked me in my single, causing me to capsize. It landed on my rigger and attacked me with its beak.
"I was in the middle of the river, away from any banks or reeds so I could not have been threatening any nest."
Matt Fraylingcork, of Cantabrigian Rowing Club, said his training was being interrupted because it was not safe to row near the bird.
"It's a vicious beast. I don't go past it if I am alone, only if I'm in an eight. I'm too scared. It has attacked quite a few boats."
But rower Ruth Howlett, from the Champion of the Thames club, said: "It is only protecting its nest. It has lost quite a few cygnets."

Council calls in 'ghostbusters'

Liverpool City Council has called in experts to study CCTV footage which appears to show a ghost in the grounds of Croxteth Hall.
Jason Karl, among ghost specialists drafted in to investigate, described the CCTV evidence as "intriguing", reports the Daily Telegraph.
He said: "Video footage of phantoms is very rare, and if this stands up to scrutiny it could be a very important piece of spectral evidence for the worldwide community of paranormal enthusiasts."
Councillor Berni Turner, Liverpool city council's executive member for the environment, said she was keeping an open mind about the investigation.
"I'm a huge believer in the paranormal and think this footage is really interesting," she added. "It's great to think that we may have ghosts walking around these beautiful grounds."
City bosses have suggested that the site could be haunted by the 7th Earl of Sefton, Hugh William Osbert Molyneux, who lived at the hall until his death in 1972.
Another theory is that the ghost could be the 2nd Earl of Sefton, William Philip Molyneux, who laid the foundation stone for Aintree Racecourse and is believed locally to revisit the hall every year at the time of the Grand National.

Rare shark found - and eaten

Fishermen in the Philippines have accidentally caught and then eaten one of the rarest sharks in the world.
The megamouth shark is one of the most elusive species in the world - the one eaten by the fishermen was only the 41st ever spotted, reports Sky News.
The four-metre, half-tonne fish was accidentally snared by fishermen trawling for mackerel off the coast of Donsol.
A WWF representative said the shark was butchered and its meat sautéed in coconut milk as a local delicacy, against the conservation group's advice.
Ironically, the coastal town of Donsol has earned a global reputation for marine conservation.
Campaigners recently convinced the locals to stop butchering giant whale sharks which feed in nearby waters.
The town prides itself as being the whale shark capital of the world and marine tourism is vital to the town's economy.
The megamouth shark is a fairly recent scientific discovery. The first specimen was caught off the coast of Hawaii in 1976.
Only eight megamouths have ever been encountered in Philippine seas. They have also been spotted off California, Japan, Brazil, Mexico, South Africa and Australia

Groom sells advertising space on tie

A Romanian groom is trying to pay for his marriage by selling advertising space on his wedding tie.
Tudor Ciora, 26, from Sibiu, has set up a website for bidders - and reckons he'll easily pay for the ceremony and some special presents.
Companies can pay 20 euro for a slot near the top of his tie, 15 euro for one in the middle or just 10 euro to have their name at the bottom of the tie.
Mr Ciora's website - www.cravatamea.com - keeps a running total of all bids.
"Hopefully we'll raise enough money to buy a new car as well," he explained.

Cat teaches puppies how to catch mice

A cat in China has adopted two orphaned puppies - and is trying to teach them how to catch mice.
The female cat - named Tom - nurses the puppies and washes them with her tongue, reports the Yaxin Network.
Owner Ms Shen, who lives in Urumchi, said the puppies' natural mother, Mao Mao, died delivering them a month ago.
She hoped that Tom might take care of the puppies as she had just given birth to three kittens and had been close friends with Mao Mao.
"We didn't dare put the puppies in Tom's basket at first, but just outside of it. Unexpectedly the puppies crawled over to Tom and started to fight for breast milk with the kittens," Ms Shen said.
She said Tom was treating her adopted children very well, even feeding them first, before the kittens.
And, each day, Tom was trying to show the puppies how to catch mice, including how to jump onto the sofa and hide in a corner before pouncing on them.
However, the two puppies lacked the cat's agility and generally failed to jump on to the sofa and just bit and scratched the cover instead.

The mane attraction

Pictures of horses sporting elaborately styled hair extensions are proving an unlikely internet sensation.
Photographer Julian Wolkenstein, 36, hit on the idea of experimenting with horses' hair during a chat with a friend.
"The idea for these images came from a discussion with a friend who said, 'Hey wouldn't it be fun to shoot horses with big hair?'," he said.
Sydney-born Mr Wolkenstein teamed up with hair-stylist Acacio da Silva to whip the horses into shape, reports the Daily Telegraph.
"Each horse took around four hours to groom, with hair extensions being added by Acacio, and then when they were presented in front of the camera's and lights they would shake their heads, give a neigh and then ruffle up their hair," he said.
"To get them just right, with their hair all set and standing to attention was a bit of a battle. But the horses loved the grooming. The lights and camera, well, they were less taken with that."
The unusual images have proved an internet hit, with thousands logging on to his website - www.julianwolkenstein.com - to view the photographs.

Last bet was a dead cert

A Teesside family won more than £20,000 on the Grand National - thanks to a dead gambler's last bet.
Terminally ill Danny Shea persuaded his wife to put £250 on 100-1 outsider Mon Mome, reports the Daily Mirror.
She thought it was a waste of money but humoured him by placing the bet - and collected £20,310 winnings.
The 66-year-old, who had kidney cancer, was a racing punter with a track record for backing the wrong horse.
Widow Pat, 63, of Eston, near Middlesbrough, said: "We could not believe it. He was generally pretty useless at picking winners, but he liked to put a bet on."
Danny, who died five months ago, had a feeling the nine-year-old would triumph after seeing it come 10th last year.
Pat, who has visited Danny's grave to thank him for the tip, said: "He was adamant it would be a winner if there was soft ground."
The family watched the race together over a pub meal. Pat added: "We were all crying and the young lads in the bar must have thought we were mad."

Russian man survives five storey fall - twice

Russian man survived after downing three bottles of vodka and leaping from a fifth floor balcony - twice.
Alexei Roskov says he jumped the second time because he couldn't take his wife's nagging about the first time.
Wife Yekaterina had watched in horror as her drunken hubsand opened the kitchen window of their Moscow apartment, and hurled himself out.
Astonishingly Mr Roskov, 22, survived and managed to stagger back upstairs with barely a scratch after the 50ft fall.
But while his wife called for an ambulance and began to scold him, he jumped again.
Amazed medics treated Mr Roskov for minor cuts and bruises before releasing him.
Mr Roskov says he is now teetotal after giving up drinking, and added: "Now I can say just one thing - I was very lucky.
"I have no idea why I jumped the first time but when I came back up and I heard my wife screaming angrily at me I thought it was best if I left the room again - out of the window."

Lorry driver's amazing escape

A lorry driver had a miraculous escape in China after an accident left his cab hanging precariously over the edge of a flyover.
The truck appeared to be defying gravity as it dangled 100ft above the ground in Chengdu, reports the Tianfu Morning Post.
The lorry, which was carrying a container, lost control on a tight bend and crashed into the side of the flyover, breaking through metal crash barriers.
The container crashed to the street below but the driver's cab somehow managed to avoid following the same fate.
Eye witness Mrs Li said she heard a big bang then a series of crashes between 11pm and midnight.
"Originally I thought somebody was letting off firecrackers. However when my family and I went out we were surprised to find a lorry hanging over the bridge, and a man in his 40s was struggling to climb out," she said.
"We were so scared watching him climb through the dangling truck to safety. The driver said he was the only person in the lorry, and it's lucky that he had his seat belt on."
Local residents said the accident happened on a narrow stretch of road with a sharp turn which was only suitable for smaller vehicles.
They said it was not the first time lorries had had accidents there - but local road management officials insisted they were not to blame.

Michael Jackson praised for cruelty-free shows

PETA ‘thrilled’ at no-animal decision
Michael Jackson has been commended by animal rights campaigners for his decision to keep his upcoming concerts free of animals.
The king of pop had previously come under fire from activists at People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) after rumours began to circulate that his concerts would feature a variety of exotic animals.
Organisers for his This Is It residency have now confirmed that no live animals will be on stage during the performances.
PETA Europe Director Robbie LeBlanc said: "Wild animals do not belong in noisy arenas surrounded by screaming fans and loud music."
Jackson has previously been criticised by the organization for the private zoo he keeps at his Neverland ranch in California.
LeBlanc added: "We are thrilled that Michael won't compound his past mistakes by using animals in his final UK shows. Bubbles wouldn't have approved."
Michael Jackson’s 50-date residency kicks off in 8 July.

Motorist arrested for sex while speeding

A Norwegian man was arrested after he was caught having sex with his girlfriend while speeding on a motorway.
Officers trailed the couple's car after noticing it was swerving from side to side and travelling at 20mph over the speed limit, reports the BBC.
But they soon realised the erratic driving was due to the woman "sitting on the man's lap", a police spokesman said.
After filming the exploit for evidence, they pulled them over at a rest area on the E18 motorway, west of Oslo.
The 28-year-old man is likely to face a fine of several thousand Norwegian kroner and a lengthy driving ban.
"Why they did it on a highway with such a high risk we don't know," said Superintendent Tor Stein Hagen.
Despite her role in the incident, the 21-year-old woman was allowed by police to drive her lover home.

World's longest football match

A world record for the longest football match was set after a 36 hour battle ended with a 285-255 scoreline.
Leeds Badgers beat Bristol Academy in the epic match which beat the previous record of 33hrs, 36mins.
Each team had 18 players who each played around 18 hours, staying at the Bristol pitch during their breaks.
The game, documented by volunteers keeping video and logbook evidence, was held to raise £10,000 for the Meningitis Trust.

Former Liverpool FC star and Welsh international Ian Rush, who had meningitis as a child, said: "These players are amazing."

Vegetarian cat

A rescued cat turns his nose up at everything but organic fruit and vegetables.
Dante, two, was found close to starvation as a kitten by owner Becky Page, reports the Daily Mirror.
Miss Page, 21, of Tasburgh, near Norwich, said: "I tried feeding him meat, fish, everything else cats like, but he turned his nose up.
"Just when I thought nothing would work, he wolfed down a plate of veg I was going to throw out. I have to smuggle bits of meat in among the veggies so he gets all the nutrients he needs.
"But sometimes he spots the meat and leaves it. He has a unique appetite - but he's certainly healthy."
Miss Page, who grows her own fruit and veg, said Dante's current favourites included melon, bananas, broccoli, rhubarb, asparagus, aubergine and Brussels sprouts.
Maggie Roberts, director of veterinary services at Cats Protection, said: "This is extremely rare. Cats are obligate carnivores and cannot be vegetarian."

Tree grew in man's lung

Astonished surgeons have removed a two-inch long fir tree growing inside a patient's lungs.
Doctors thought Artyom Sidorkin, 28, had cancer when he began coughing up blood and complaining of agonising chest pains.
But as they operated to remove a tumour the medics were amazed to discover the perfectly formed spruce thriving inside the lung.
"I blinked three times and thought I was seeing things," said surgeon Vladimir Kamashev at Izhevsk Hospital in Russia.
Doctors believe that Artyom breathed in a tiny seed which then began growing in his lung and that the sharp pains were the plant's needle-like leaves digging into his lung.
"It was very painful. But to be honest I did not feel any foreign object inside me," he explained.

Gran devours snail problem

A Welsh grandmother came up with the perfect solution after her garden became infested with snails - she's eating them.
Oriole Parker-Rhodes was unwilling to trample on or poison the creatures, reports the Daily Mail.
So she regularly feasts on their meat, claiming they are higher in protein and lower in fat than beef.
Miss Parker-Rhodes, 59, of Anglesey, said: "Last summer it was really wet and warm - ideal for snails. I had hundreds in my garden. I was treading on them, and they were also eating our home-grown potatoes.
"I'm quite an organic, perma-culture sort of person and didn't want to trample or poison them. That would be against my principles. So I thought eating them made sense."
Miss Parker-Rhodes said restaurants usually serve six per plate but she serves 12 at a time with salad, garlic, parsley or butter sauce and bread.
"They're perfectly good meat," she added. "They're very high in protein and low in fat. In some ways, they're better than beef."
Miss Parker-Rhodes has now set up an internet blog with recipes at eatinggardensnails.blogspot.com.

Google Street View gets agoraphobic mum outside

An agoraphobic mother has left her house for the first time in 20 years - thanks to Google Street View.
Sue Curtis, 40, has spent half her life inside her home and even married husband Alan in her sitting room, reports the Daily Telegraph.
But the mother-of-two's interest was sparked by Google Street View which led her to try self-help classes online.
And she has finally now ventured onto the pavement outside her house in West Harton, South Shields.
Mrs Curtis said: "It may not seem very far to walk, but for me, this is amazing, I'm getting there very slowly, and now I don't see no reason why I can't be cured in the future and lead a normal life again.
"It's all down to the classes, I've said for years I needed cognitive behavioural therapy to help me, and now that I've got access to it, I've been able to learn, and I feel like I have a new lease of life."
Mrs Curtis stopped leaving the house after experiencing severe panic attacks a day in 1989.
"It was very scary. At one point I was suffering between 15 and 20 attacks a day, my weight dropped down to just over five stone and I ended up bed-bound for 18 months," she said.
"It gradually came to a point where I knew I didn't want to be or go outside, so I just stayed in."

Woman sees home burgled on webcam

A Florida woman who set up a webcam in her home turned on from work to see her house being burgled.
Jeanne Thomas, 43, was sitting in her office 25 miles away when she saw strangers rummaging through her living room.
She called police and said the men were scaring her pets, eating food from her fridge and stealing Nintendo games.
The intruders are thought to have entered the house, in Boynton Beach, by squeezing through a dog flap from the back garden.
Police officers asked Mrs Thomas to stay on the line and describe what the thieves were doing.
She said: "Okay, here's just one. He's running to the front. The other one is trying to figure out which way to go.
"The cat's freaked out. The dogs are hiding. My God. This is crazy. They've got things in their hands."
By this time the officer replied: "Ma'am, it's okay. Officers are surrounding your house. They're not going to get away with anything."
Two men, aged 20 and 19, were arrested inside the house. Two other suspects, both 20, were charged with planning the burglary.

The Moral

She had the rooms attention now. She continued her self-aggrandizing. boorish diatribe, “I'm Patti LaBell and I'm famous and those are our seats and we're gonna sit in 'em cause I'm Patti LaBelle and who are you to tell me...” and on and on, but I did not hear her, for I looked at Ana. She had slunk down in her chair. She wanted the evil, large woman with the funky snake infested hair to just go away. But I knew the thing would never go away. The things never do. Get rid of one and there are more things waiting, just waiting for their chance to tell everyone how important they are and eat us alive.
I asked Ana quietly if she wanted to just go. If we stuck it out, I told her, I was pretty sure we would end up with a table. She didn't, she said. If the thing won't leave, then it would have to be us. If we had to sacrifice to stop the thing for the benefit of mankind, then so be it. We moved to the back and stood with the other sardines. It wasn't fun at first, but Latin music gets under your skin and before you know it, you're tapping a foot, then swaying a little, and finally you're dancing in the streets. You can't help yourself.
I only have one bit of advice to the survivors I left behind: Please don't feed the snakes.

Showdown With the Scary Head

I became aware of a rather large woman with a bizarre hairdo hovering around our area of the table, staring at us. It was a large and strange hairdo and I imagined Medusa-like snakes hissing and flicking their sandpaper tongues at us. She was followed by some type of gang, but the ominous group disappeared into the crowd. In short order the harried waitress was at the table, looking like she had just gone a round with Ali. “Where are the cards,” she cried. “There were cards! Did you move the cards!” She looked frightened. I felt sorry for her in that instant, but...”What cards? I didn't see any cards, did you see any cards,” we all said over the top of each other. “Nope. No cards here. Definitely no cards.” As the waitress stormed off I saw a tear in her eye. She was gonna get it.
In a flash the gang was back and this time they meant business. Their leader was the large woman with the giant weird hair with the snakes in it. Oh my God, the snakes.
“You in our seats,” the thing said to all of us.
“No were not,” I replied.
“Those our seats,” the thing said a little louder.
“No. These our seats,” I said, mocking her and matching her tone. Her eyes grew a little wider.
“I'm Patty LaBelle!”
“I don't know Patty LaBelle,” I shrugged. And it was true. I didn't. Never heard of her.
It's eyes grew even larger, bugging out from her chubby face. “I tole you I'm Patty LaBelle!” Now she was beginning to draw attention to us.
“How do I know you're Patty LaBelle? Lemme see your driver's license.”
Apparently, that was enough to send Ms. Thing over the edge. Her eyeballs popped from their fleshy sockets, shooting rays of hate and bile. She spit venom from her puffy mouth, venom probably from the Medusa-like snakes living in her hair. I'm pretty sure her brain actually caught fire because you could see the smoke coming from her hairy ears.
“I...I...I,” she stammered. She was vibrating with pent up hate and arrogance. And then with a voice bigger than the building, she boomed, “I get on that stage and start singin' and you know I'm Patty LaBelle!”

The Set Up

We came back to reality, paid our bill and arrived back at the club thirty minutes before show-time. We were 10th in line and with all the chairs and tables available I knew we would have no trouble getting a seat up close. Finally, the doors opened and the once organized line collapsed into a rush cramming into the entryway. We were still in front as we entered and...what? Where did all the tables go? There were now just a few tables and chairs up around the stage and most of those were filled already. Where did those people come from? No matter. I grabbed Ana's hand and pulled her forward rapidly, just managing to get two seats at one of the long communal tables just as every remaining seat in the house was filled.
I looked around perplexed, unable for the life of me to figure out where all the tables went, and there they were, stacked willy-nilly 30 feet high in every corner of the club. Clearly they were going to cram as many people in here as possible. Standing room only. Thank heavens we got a seat. The man sitting across the table from me picked up a card from the table. “This seat is reserved,” he said. All of us picked up the cards in front of our seats. It was true. Each of us was sitting in a reserved seat, and we were not the reservees.
The guy across from me threw his card under the table and all of us followed suit. We tried to act in a nonchalant fashion, but I for one was contemplating what uncomfortable scene lie ahead. If worse came to worst, I would demand they get one of those willy-nilly tables from atop it's 30 foot perch. I'd be damned if I was going to stand in the back for two hours with the other sardines. It would be Ok, I decided. Everything would turn out fine. But that was before I knew that it was the...Night of the Living Patty LaBelle! (A woman's scream is heard, this time right in my ear.)

Meet Our Protagonist Lovers

We arrived at the club early to purchase tickets to the 11:00 show, Gilberto Gil's second performance of the evening, The first show was in full swing and I stuck my head inside to get the lay of the land. The situation looked good. There were plenty of tables spread around the vast space and we had lots of time, so we purchased our tickets and made our way to a nearby restaurant for cocktails and appetizers.
We must have appeared like the two young lovers we were, leaning into each other closely, whispering, laughing, and occasionally sampling an oyster on the half-shell or a bit of crab dip. We were young and in love and our whole lives spread out before us like a golden road laid down only for the special few. No roadblocks would stop us, no highwaymen maul us, no snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night would stay these lovers from their appointed glory. That's how we felt. The strength of two as one. Of course, that was before. Before we knew it was the...Night of the Living Patty LaBelle! (A woman's scream is heard, closer now.)

Setting a Happy Mood

It was going to be a great night. My live-in girlfriend at the time was a beautiful Brazilian woman named Ana. I had a lot of Brazilian friends back then during those heady New York days, and I loved the Brazilian people and their culture. Tonight was going to be special. The famous Brazilian musician Gilberto Gil was performing downtown and we were going to see him. The proverbial electricity was in the air as we got ready for our evening out. It was going to be special. Little did I know that it was the... Night of the Living LaBelle! (A woman's scream is heard in the distance.)
If you don't know who Patty LaBelle is, that's good. Stop reading now, go away, and hug your children. For those who do know, you may remember her two, #1 hits, Lady Marmalade and On My Own, a duet with Michael McDonald. What some of you may not know is that during the finale of Live Aid, she purposefully upstaged everybody, singing so loud that at times she was the only voice that could be heard. She was also accused of taking the spotlight from Diana Ross during a performance that became known as the infamous mic toss as revenge for a rumored rivalry. Often accused of grandstanding, she later defended herself, saying in typical LaBell fashion that she has a big voice and people have to be aware that she is going to use it. Ahh. I see a pattern.

Driver caught breastfeeding at wheel

Police in Australia arrested a teenage mum - for breastfeeding while driving her car.
Just before she was pulled over in Alice Springs, the 19-year-old mum almost crashed into a police car, reports The Sun.
She was so drunk she couldn't give a breath test - and already banned from driving from a previous offence.
Apart from driving while disqualified, the woman was also driving an unregistered and uninsured vehicle.
Northern Territory Duty Superintendent Jamie Chalker said police were "absolutely outraged".
He said: "A five-month-old child was placed at significant risk, and had the police officers not been able to brake to avoid the collision, then the outcome could've been even more horrific."
Supt Chalker said this was the first time he had ever heard of a mother being caught driving while breastfeeding.
"It just challenges the mind that people can choose to be so flippant about road laws and people's lives, particularly their young children," he said.
The baby was placed in the care of relatives.
The young mum was charged with failing to provide a breath sample, driving while disqualified in an unregistered and uninsured car, failing to give way and driving with an unrestrained child.

Week long radio show

A German DJ smashed the world record for the longest continuous radio show when his 'morning' programme ended after more than a week.
Dominik Schollmayer, 26, from Hit Radio Antenne in Hanover, broadcast his show for 169 consecutive hours, beating the previous record - held by an Indian DJ - by one hour.
The rules stated he was allowed to play two consecutive records of up to six minutes, reports the Daily Telegraph.
He was allowed a five-minute break every hour but saved these up to give himself a 15-minute break every three hours.
Schollmayer was monitored by doctors around the clock throughout his record-breaking broadcast.
Sleep deprivation caused bizarre effects, according to a blog on the station's website.
One entry, entitled: "Now he's gone completely mad", reported the DJ was dancing wildly around the studio as the final hours approached.

Plane takes off without pilot

An aircraft took off on its own when the pilot could not get into the cockpit in time after starting the propellor manually.
Hundreds of visitors to an air show at Goodwood airfield watched in horror as the runaway biplane took off, soared into the air and then crashed into trees, reports the Daily Telegraph.
Had it cleared the trees it is believed the plane, which was headed towards nearby Chichester, West Sussex, could have flown for around 150 miles on a full tank of fuel.
The small plane had just been refuelled before the incident and its pilots had 'swung' the propellers to restart the engine before getting inside to fly it.
But the aircraft - a 1940 model built in the style of a Tiger Moth - began moving before the pilot had a chance to board it.
Retired aircraft engineer Malcolm Phillips, 67 of Emsworth, Hants, said: "There were hundreds of people there watching as the plane ran amok, haring round in circles.
"We didn't know which way it was going to go and it was worrying that it could head towards the crowd, other planes or the clubhouse."
Mr Phillips added: "Normally the idea is that you swing the propellers and have the handbrake on and chocks under the wheels. You also need to make sure the throttle is only set at low revs.
"Something clearly went wrong and it jumped over the chocks - I suspect what might have happened is that the throttle became loose."

Contractors left bank unlocked

Contractors left a high street branch of Barclays Bank wide open overnight after forgetting to lock it.
The contractors had visited the Low Fell branch in Gateshead when it was closed to pick up some documents.
Bank staff had locked up the building after leaving on Friday afternoon, reports the Daily Telegraph.
Barclays was alerted to the security lapse when a customer strolled in to the empty branch the following day.
With no staff in sight, and no security alarm sounding, the confused member of the public alerted the police.
Officers were quickly on the scene and secured the site before calling the bank's security firm to safely lock up the building.
Barclays insisted documents and cash were all safely locked away, and thanked the customer for alerting police.
A bank spokeswoman said: "Incidents of this nature are very rare and we do take them very seriously.
"We will be reviewing the circumstances with the third party contractor, whose standards appear to have fallen short on this occasion.
"We will also be thanking our customer for their vigilance."

Canine castaway found

A pet dog which was washed overboard on a boat trip has been found four months later - as a castaway on a remote Australian island.
Jan and Dave Griffith thought pet Sophie Tucker had drowned after she vanished in stormy waters off Queensland.
But the dog somehow survived a five mile swim through shark-infested waters to the largely uninhabited St Bees Island.
There she lived on a diet of baby goats until being found by visiting rangers, reports the BBC.
The Griffiths were amazed to hear of the discovery and have now been reunited with their pet.
"She surprised us all," said Mrs Griffith. "She was a house dog and look what she's done, she has swum over five nautical miles, she has managed to live off the land all on her own. We wish she could talk, we truly do."
The Griffiths had been on a sailing holiday off the north-east Queensland coast when Sophie Tucker - an Australian cattle dog - was lost overboard.
"We hit a rough patch and when we turned around the dog was gone," Mrs Griffith said.
There was an emotional reunion when the Griffiths met the rangers' boat bringing Sophie Tucker to the mainland.
"We called the dog and she started whimpering and banging the cage and when they let her out she just about flattened us," Mrs Griffith said.
Story filed: 09:25 Tuesday 7th April 2009 -->

£1,000 Easter egg 'an investment'

A British department store is urging shoppers to stock up on its £1,000 Easter eggs - as an investment.
Selfridges hopes customers will be tempted to shell out for the eggs, which contain a gold coin, reports Sky News.
The retailer says the confectionary, which is handmade by Melt, "makes for a wise investment".
The one troy ounce gold coin is worth almost £900, 75% higher than in 2005, and forecasters expect the value to rise even further.
Ewan Venters, director of food and drink at Selfridges, said: "Don't invest in the stock market this Easter, invest in the golden egg instead.
"It really is worth its weight in gold - even after the fantastic chocolate has been eaten."
A Selfridges spokesman added: "According to the financial institution Swiss bank UBS, demand for gold will double this year compared to 2007, as investors see the precious metal as a safe haven during the current volatile economic climate."

School walk protest dad faces arrest

An Essex father who followed his son on his walk to school in his car to protest at the lack of pavements has been warned he could be arrested.
David Kirkwood dressed his ten-year-old son Archie in a high-visibility jacket and drove slowly behind him in his Ford Fiesta, reports the Daily Telegraph.
The car was topped with a sign reading: "Thank you for sharing the road. Archie is walking to school and back."
Mr Kirkwood said the move was intended to highlight the dangers of Archie walking to school along a 60mph country lane which has no pavements.
However, his protest was cut short when police officers picked up Archie and drove him to school over fears for his safety and warned his father he could be arrested if he repeated the act.
Mr Kirkwood, from East Hanningfield, said: "I have been told 'you can't expect to walk along this road, it is a dangerous road' but I find that incompatible with the idea that the roads are for everyone."
He wrote to the police to tell them about his protest but officers stopped him en route to East Hanningfield Primary School.
A spokesman for Essex Police said: "He informed us of his intent to follow his son along the road in his car. Police advised him against this course of action for safety reasons.
"Officers have advised him that he is at risk of causing an unlawful or wilful obstruction should be continue to do this."

White House gives out sex line number

Journalists hoping to interview Hillary Clinton on the G20 summit were surprised when the number they were given turned out to be a phone sex line.
The White House accidentally listed a sex line number for journalists seeking an "on-the-record briefing call with Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and National Security Advisor Jim Jones", reports Fox News.
Journalists who dialled the number heard a soft-voiced female recording, that was clearly not Clinton, asking for a credit card number if you "feel like getting nasty".
After several efforts to make sure that the phone number was correctly dialled, a call to the White House resulted in a corrected press release.
"If you are having trouble dialling into the call, please try this number as an alternative," it said, and listed the international line included for reporters abroad to dial.
By this time, the conference call was already under way.
Asked for comment, Deputy White House Press Secretary Bill Burton responded: "A corrected phone number on a press release is probably one of the stupider things Fox News has covered lately."